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Dating blessings

They will also be the grandparents of your children. I know three years sounds like a long time, but it's not forever. If, however, after getting wise counsel from older, more mature believers (see Titus 2) you are convinced your parents' reasons for asking you to wait are nothing more than personal preference, then you do have the option to proceed without their blessing.

Although Scripture defers to parents and requires you give them respect, it doesn't say you must never make a decision contrary to their advice.

I don't want them angry and I do want them a part of my life, but they are wanting me to pay my own way through college and maintain my relationship with my fiancé long-distance for at least three more years.

I told my mom that I just didn't think she understood, but she says that she understands perfectly, and that if we truly love each other it will work because love is patient and kind, and God blesses those who wait.

By refusing to bless your marriage at this time, promising to bless it only after you've graduated from college, are your parents demanding you disobey God's Word?

Do they have legitimate concerns about your maturity or other issues that you need to be working to resolve?

Hopefully if this is their rationale, addressing their concerns will allay them.

Practically, it makes a lot of sense to honor and obey your parents. They will be part of your life for as long as you and they are alive. If marriage is meant to be, it will still make sense in three years, and the rest of your life together is a long time.Let's take these in turn, in light of the source of all truth: God's Word.Colossians and Ephesians 6:1-3 admonish children to obey their parents "in the Lord, for this is right" and "in all things, for this is well pleasing to the Lord." These go hand-in-hand with Commandment five in Exodus , "Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you." I looked in the John Macarthur study Bible to see what he has to say about these complementary verses.About the fifth Commandment he writes, "The key to societal stability is reverence and respect for parents and their authority." About the Ephesians passage he says, "The child in the home is to be willingly under the authority of parents with obedient submission to them as the agents of the lord placed over him, obeying parents as if obeying the Lord Himself." He also says that while verse 1 is about action, verse 3 refers to your attitude toward your parents.Finally, regarding Colossians, he writes, "The only limit on a child's obedience is when parents demand something contrary to God's Word." I believe scripturally, the starting point is your (and your boyfriend's) attitude toward your parents.My fiancé is in the military (also 20) and is coming home this Christmas.We want to get married, and have been talking about it with my parents for a year now (we've dated for two).My parents disapprove, and say they will only give their blessing when I am finished with school.(They say we are too young, too immature, and need to wait; God doesn't rush things, and that if us being together is meant to be, then our separation will only make us stronger.) I must have my education first — those are their terms. I didn't agree with this and neither did my fiancé, so when we found out he got to come home this Christmas and that after marriage I could transfer my credit to a school in CA where he's stationed (right now I'm in school in the Midwest), and that this really is the only time for several years that we can get married, we decided to move forward with wedding plans. My story is long, but really, details don't matter anymore.What I must know is this: What is my responsibility as a 20-year-old female college student, paying her own way for everything, to my parents?

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