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So when the opportunity arose, I figured I would just take things into my own hands. As a believer, especially if you grow up in the church, you can convince yourself that non-Christians aren’t nice people.
The moment I made the decision to waver on something I always said I would never compromise on, the offers flooded in. He had a great career and he truly could give me everything I ever wanted in this life. I knew he wasn’t a believer, but I wanted to spend time with him and get to know more about him. But the reality is, more often than not, they are great.
Our desires over His, our will over His: it's not a frivolous idea, but rather one that we are completely unable to fight through on our own. 1 John says, Our inability to succeed in giving over our heart’s desires to God is not a surprise to Him.
A great marriage becomes a place of shelter, hope, and strength during difficult times, and a place of deep joy and thankfulness to God for all the goodness we experience.While the first two dates were just awkward encounters that made me feel uncomfortable and probably caused my face to glow red for hours afterwards, the third guy peaked my interest. All my ideas and hopes of leading him to Jesus weren’t realistic.He didn’t want to talk about church or Jesus, and conversations always turned uncomfortable every time I mentioned either.Or mentioning their far-off distant relative who they thought might still be single (which they never were), and who they could maybe one day set me up with (which they never did).It became hard to find peace between the God that I loved and this aching, unmet desire to find a companion. It felt like God wasn’t listening, and I was discouraged that my life seemed stuck in a pit of hopelessness with no sign of movement anytime soon. But when 30 hit, let’s just say God and me were in a fight. You go to youth group, you love Jesus, you meet someone, you graduate high school, you get married, and as the fairy tales say, “You live happily ever after.” When I was 19 I was ready. At 27, I understood and accepted that God was using the last few years to prepare me for marriage.There seemed to be 10 girls for every single available guy in church.Then there was the pressure of every person I knew asking about my relationship status every time I saw them.No amount of flirting made Jesus more desirable to him.Sure, he could have provided me with every luxury in this world — except the one thing that held the most value to me.