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Genetically speaking, there are no racial categories; race is merely skin deep.
Dating and marrying across racial lines should therefore be natural, common and acceptable. This is the United States, where a deep-seated notion of racial difference has been the rationalization for oppression, the rallying cry for discrimination against people who are not white.
White men are the most sought after dates by women of all groups (except for African American women, who, researchers speculate, may rule out white men due to the fear of being stereotyped).
She was shy and didn't talk much in what was likely an unfamiliar and perhaps overwhelming African American social setting.But this collection of happily ever after stories does not mean that love is blind.Romantic attraction is subject to the larger social forces of racial prestige and stigma that swirl all around us, and in this environment, black women are losing out.Two of my younger male relatives have recently been engaged to white women, and one tied the knot last summer.This is a pattern that I have observed in my professional life for years: successful black men pairing up with white women, but now that the practice has come home to roost, so to speak, I cannot help but admit to feeling a bit demoralized.Race and the characteristics that have come to represent it -- like skin color, eye color, and hair texture -- would not be factors in matters of the heart.This is the way things would be if our love lives actually mirrored recent scientific findings, which tell us the human family is so genetically close that we share more than 99 percent of our DNA.I wish my male relatives luck and joy in their relationships, but I also feel a pinch when I watch them with their girlfriends.It is the same sharp tug of disappointment that gets me every time I see a black man with a white woman on his arm.But personal moments of rejection are not the driving force behind my resentful feelings about black male-white female relationships now.The driving force is, instead, my awareness of all of the (straight) African American women -- beautiful, smart, good women, some of them my own family and friends -- who might not have a honey to bring home this Thanksgiving holiday because they cannot find a date, even as rising numbers of eligible African American men will be wooing white women. Individuals would choose each other for kindness, intelligence, perseverance, courage, and a host of other mysterious reasons that make attraction so magical.